My Therapy


In the continuity of the post I wrote about Kamelot’s latest album “Haven” – released in May 2015 – I have picked one song that has had a powerful impact on me, although not entirely unexpected, as soon as I grasped what Tommy Karevik was singing. Read: Kamelot “Haven” – Highlight 2015.

kamelot-bandCome and take me off my daily dose of pain
Take me off and shelter me
From this static nothing
You’re the antidote
For solitude injected in my veins
May the touch of your hand forever be
My Therapy

Copyrights 2015 – Kamelot, Haven: “My Therapy”.

I keep saying that my husband is my beacon, not only because it is an obvious truth, but also because he has a soothing and healing effect on my heart, mind, and spirit. This is not a lame attempt to romanticism but rather a selfish desire to clumsily put into words the impact of these lyrics on me.

Have you ever experienced “butterflies in your tummy“? Well, when I heard this refrain my eyes were shut; unconsciously I associated J. with what I was hearing and something happened in my tummy, going up to my brain… it is quite difficult to explain, pleasure, love… No matter! Something is certain, it was a chemical reaction that happens when you understand an important and crucial truth.

From the start, I have associated this song with my husband J., although the entire lyrics could be interpreted another way only this refrain – taken out of its context – is somehow a piece of my story with J.  We usually say that we saved each other’s life. We were two wounded souls who attracted one another from afar.

In the course of a decade, he helped me surface from my labyrinth of filters and put aside the masks that I was so unwilling to put down. At the same time, I might have offered him a new approach to life where solitude did not mean loneliness. I helped him, to some extent, redefine and accept himself as he is rather than the man he thinks he is. We all have this notion of who we should be and sometimes, we mix it with the real us and fail to see the truth. Thus doing we put impossible expectations on ourselves when it is not needed. Anyway, I believe that J. already was way ahead of my help when we met;  I think I offered him the extra nudge and motivation he needed to persevere. He did not need to fight his demons alone anymore and neither did I.

Still today, as I am working on rebuilding myself psychologically, he is the one holding my hand when I need it. He is my motivation and the one who knows which buttons to push in order for me to move forward.

When I look at J., it is, therefore, most accurate to quote Kamelot and this particular refrain. J., as my person, is indeed “my therapy“. My husband’s influence is constructive and healing. The fact that he is not perfect makes him perfect to me…

When we met some thirteen years ago – and still counting – we used to say to one another that “our hands are not empty anymore“.  This is still true and revealing as far as we are concerned. The best part is that after all these years, our love is still growing.

Friedrich: But I have nothing to give you. My hands are empty.
[entwines her hands with his]
Jo: Not empty now.

End of movie “Little women” (1994)


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